Up until a couple years ago, I would write an essay around graduation time to the hypothetical high school graduating seniors even though I’m pretty sure no high schooler actually reads these pieces, but then again, for now, it’s there to come back to, should NER ever be ‘discovered’. This piece serves the function. My day job brings me into contact with this age group, so I have a feel for what makes them tick, and of course once upon a time, I was once that age. Some things change, some things never change. The consensus I hear from people of all ages when reminiscing about high school is that most look back on it as a war, to be survived – or not. A high schooler is in development, a process that is nowhere near finished, thus, most feel and view themselves as ‘ugly ducklings’ through those years, physically and or mentally. Everything is future and with that comes fear. With that in mind, it occurred to me just how many major life pieces fell into place for me during those years. None of them were complete by any measure – nor are some now – but in retrospect, it causes me to have a greater appreciation for going through those difficult years. When I look at the current group of high schoolers I see daily, I see little difference in what’s going on inwardly compared to my experience. Sure, the externals are far different, especially with digital life, but underneath, they have the same or better potential.
In high school, I received enough vocational orientation to know what career set I would pursue, and I followed it. It ended up changing numerous times over the years and that will be the case with most people. Knowing where to start is a good place to start. If I could do it all over again, I would probably choose differently, but who knows. We start our life as if for the first time every time we wake up in the morning. If you’re compelled to do something different, do so; until then, accrue the fruits of consistency and continuity.
At that age, I had met the one that would be my wife a few years later. That too changed many years later; another story, but the point here is that when I was 17, I knew and was in a relationship with the one that I would later wed and raise a family with.
In my high school years, I had chosen a faith and followed it. While the manner and churches changed many times over the years I gave to my faith and it gave back to me. I did not have the sense that I needed to exclude the faith of my family of origin and start with a blank slate. Again, knowing where to start is a good place to start. I quickly associated myself with new faith communities and ended up influencing others in my home. Over the years, I found much to be disappointed with yet even now, I’m close to where my search began.
I knew I wouldn’t go to college even though I did so many years later. Most importantly, I made the decision that all education was self-education and I set upon the path of doing just that on my own long before I seriously entertained going for a degree. I had thus also decided to be a voracious reader, a practice I started in earnest by the time I was 13 years old. While I mainly focused on fictional genres including things like ‘Lord of The Rings’, I recalled reading Henry David Thoreau and hard sciences (definitely not a school assignment) on the school bus in ninth grade. I theorize that this kind of thing is what happens to any young mind, if and when a natural curiosity of knowledge happens in the absence of a certain level of social distractions.
It should be no surprise to observe I knew of all the basic mechanics of sex and reproduction, early enough that the sterile versions taught in health class really offered nothing new except some of the finer technical points of venereal diseases. I educated myself by reading from cover to cover, some supposed illicit materials as well as some surprisingly straightforward (for the early 70s) journalistic sources. I was not beholden to any adults to teach or influence my sexuality during my adolescence. Most of them preferred to keep the task of educating the young about sex, at arm’s length. I look askance at teens claiming ignorance and vulnerability just as much as I do of adults claiming the need to groom young people’s proclivities.
I must give honorable mention of three factors that helped me during my high school years. First, hard physical labor. Inherited from my father’s work ethic and experience, physical labor not only toned my body but also focused my mind. It prepared me for my first careers which were physically demanding. Most important, it toughened my character. The second was growing up in a mostly rural community. My models and influences held solid values that were more possible in a place where I could be isolated, alone, by myself, where I could hear myself think. Likewise, growing up close to ‘nature’ is and was an indispensable component of my upbringing. I spent many days alone, directly in nature, observing those surroundings and seasons.
As a high schooler, I still credit a great deal of my development and successes to my parents and the surrounding family, friends, and community. This I understand, is not the case for many teens. I occasionally had some difficult struggles with my parents but for the most part, they stood back and created an environment where I could take a major role in my own development.
It might seem the conditions that formed me are no longer possible. The young crave intense social engagement, acceptance, and many varieties of faux on-line fame now available to millions of teens. These have a cost, a hollow soul with no inner bearings of one’s own inner person. The cell phone is the single greatest threat to formation of a teen, as a whole person. Given the present digital distractions, I cannot assure a high schooler that they will find direction for all the important pieces of their life while still in their teen years, but I can suggest that if they/you limit their distractions, you will find a working soul compass already at work.
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