Most of you may be familiar with the Harris ad put out last week where six paid actors were hired to portray what the Harris/Walz team and basically all woke Democrats thought were ‘real men’ and that those same characters also had the ‘courage’ to hand their fake nuts over to the Harris cause. First, let me give them credit for pretending for one or two news cycles that the notion of ‘men’ even exists and for besmirching their own orthodoxy regarding X/Y chromosomes, the ones they feel, don’t exist or if they do, they’re worthless artifacts left over from Paleolithic times. Bravo they/them!
The concept and trials of manhood, especially young manhood, are a theme that I have interest in and write about from time to time, so this ad was of special note to me. Having spent well over half my working career in trades that were and are predominantly men, and I was also raised around my extended family’s farms, I have an idea what this species is and how they should be portrayed, especially the blue-collar variant. So I’m going to have a little fun here and give my judgmental first impressions of these guys and what they portray. Do they ring true to me? Maybe I’m on the fence about Harris and I really want to know if I should ‘have the courage’ to vote for her like they’re going to do. Do these guys convince me in anyway based on what they present of manhood, and let me add to that, character, a dimension that I suspect never came within miles of the producer’s brain cells and yet is integral to manhood. Do I trust them, do I trust their words? Speaking of producers, the ad was done by some producer for beta extraordinaire, Jimmy Kimmel, which explains a lot about the contrived ad.
Fair warning: this critique will be ‘insensitive’, ‘homophobic’, ‘racist’, ‘sexist’ ‘politically incorrect’ because when you get under the veneer of woke pieties, voluntary or forced, this is the primal reality of most men. It’s that way for fundamental survival of the tribe and their role in it. Here’s my impression of what the ‘men’ in the ad convey by the apparent vocation, setting, props, their appearance, and mannerisms. Since this is about first impressions, I do not dissect the monologues. To repeat for emphasis, my following comments are ‘impressions’ and their description is fictitious. To find out what these fellows really do, I take my hat off to the Not The Bee people who did a little research into what their true occupation is. Truth be told, some of it isn’t too far off from my fictitious version.
Guy 1, Agriculture: Fat farmer whose way too fat to farm. He’s been on food stamps ever since he snuck into the country illegally 13 years ago. He’s never been up before 11 am, wears a new hat that isn’t even dirty. He says he ‘eats carburetors for lunch’ like this is 1982, [they were mostly extinct by the early 90’s], a detail that would be missed by the faux-man ad producer, but maybe carburetors are still a thing in the old car export market in the little dirt town he left to come here .
Guy 2, No apparent trade: Older black man on weight bench. Maybe he’s a lifer in prison because lifting weights is a thing behind bars. He’s in for at least 20, probably armed robbery of a 7-11 back when Kamala was in to locking them all up instead of setting them all free like the last few years, or maybe he was a fall-guy pawn in a drug deal that went bad. While all the other guys in this ad attempt to mimic the assumption of an occupation by their surroundings, no such scripting occurs here with our gentleman of color. What an unfortunate oversight.
Guy 3, [Very] Old bike repair guy: Biker man is actually homeless and was cleaned up enough to go on camera after they used makeup on his tracks. His day job is shitting on sidewalks in Oakland California. He collects a healthy sum in California homeless subsidies which is obviously why he would support Kamala, she represents his sugar mamma. He knew some people that knew some people that knew Charlie Manson back in the day. He does appear in a shop. If he owned the shop, he would have been taxed to death by Kamala and Newsom because he’s obviously from California. If he really was a tradesmen and had to do trade work at his ripe old age, he can’t retire, he’s forced to work and he certainly wouldn’t have the time and nuances to adopt the same feminine outlook as a Millennial beta college professor.
Guy 4, Rancher: Brokeback gay rancher – this is the first time he ever stepped foot on a farm and like fat farmer, his clothes are immaculately clean. He doesn’t have an ounce of musculature on him which is a dead giveaway. Any teen girls raised on a farm are way more buff than he is. You can tell he’s not all that comfortable with that horse standing behind him but he’s a champ that gives his all for the part. That’s because he’s a former theater major that dropped out of college and has been auditioning for parts ever since, but all he can get is these commercials.
Guy 5, yet another Rancher: Leather jacket man has worked day jobs most of his life, but he’s found new fulfillment and purpose as an on call antifa crowd member where he harasses any group he’s told to by his bosses he’s never met; he just takes the call and the money shows up in his bank account. He does have a kid from a long-ago brief marriage before his woman dumped him after finding him in bed with her sister — they haven’t talked much since. Did I mention he’s still bitter about it all? He’ll vote for Kamala because he was told to.
Guy 6, geez, more ranchers!: Pretty boy on the back of a pick-up truck and a bale of hay he’d never touch in a million years, is the most convincing of all but not for ranch work. He really works Starbucks in the morning and cute little bistro at night, but he doesn’t really need the money because his husband is a fairly well-off lawyer and he knows when to come for duty when the hubs calls. He didn’t have to drive the truck so there is that. His primary skill relative to the commercial is the way he sits on the tailgate is how he sits on laps, well, usually just one lap and it’s becoming of his good spousal duties. Everyone knows that nothing convinces an audience of manhood like a pickup truck. Men everywhere are supposed to get a little jolt of testosterone every time they see a truck so what better way of conveying the need to vote for Kamala?
Hope you too have fun with the little run of imagination, sort of, because it sure looks real, at least it’s a lot like Kamala’s sense of reality.
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