Once in a while, I depart from gloom and doom, but not too far. This topic addresses something universal, a man seeking a woman. It’s universal because there are just two parties involved, and shy of very rare medical anomalies, this encompasses both genders. As you just noticed, I’ve already stepped into a hot, raging culture war matter. No apologies from me. If I ignore the gender wars, (I will), this is yet a current event and critical issue of futurism as well, on several levels. This week, I read that the number of young single men not in a relationship is skyrocketing even compared to the same demographic of women. I’m not sure how that works and I’m not dealing directly with that story, but the point is that we’re on the front edge of multiple social upheavals coming together at the same time: a gender crisis, a population crisis, a family crisis, and the collective crisis on a personal level of a lot of young men, but I don’t want to deal with any of that. I just have some advice for young men.
These pieces of advice might be considered truisms and none of them are original to me. There are thousands of ideas on something like – young man, how you might find a woman – and therein lies the problem. There is too much, too complicated, and not all of it is true. All I do here is present a short summary list of the things that I think are most important to finding heterosexual companionship, which by the way, is what most men and women, young and older, want despite what you’re being told by woke media. Hopefully, this will seem helpful to some. It’s implied here that I’m assuming what women want. I believe that my assumptions are true for most western modern women and that should be good enough. There’s no perfect list for men or women but herein is a menu. Take what pieces fit.
The list, for men:
- Don’t be a jerk.
- Tuck your shirt in, comb your hair, and never wear pajamas in public.
- What your face looks like is already fine, it’s more about the expression you wear. (Your face is not inferior to that of most women without make up).
- ‘Smart’ is relative, but you should be doing something to not be stupid, today; never stop educating yourself.
- Hold a steady job suitable to your career tenure.
- Have a passion for something; a couple things are even better.
- Don’t carry a lot of debt, but a mortgage proportioned to your income is ok.
- Have a few friends.
- Be on good terms with at least some of your family.
- If you read books or care for a living thing, you’re well ahead of the curve.
- Knowing how to cook and eating quality food will also make you stand out, a lot.
- Inhabit the world a woman might want to live in; that probably is not in front of a computer screen…in a basement.
- Know how you can and will protect a woman in danger.
- Pay for her meal but don’t take her some place where you cannot afford the best meal on the menu.
- Be real with your expectations; you will most likely find compatibility within your socio-economic and physical profile.
This list is not a hard and fast statement of limitations. Most young men will fall short in one or several of these areas. That does not have to be a deal breaker. It does mean that you should excel in other areas to compensate, as long as (#1) you are not a jerk . Especially for a young man, bodily physique is malleable and should never be regarded as a final state.
This list isn’t hard, but it is hard. For a young man raised in a normal community and intact family, these ideas would be a basic expectation imparted by older family members and peers, but those influences are under assault. Wokeness, urban culture, and addiction to digital stimulation have decimated what was once a cultural given, natural affinity for heterosexual success, and that’s why the numbers show an abrupt plunge for young men in relationships. It can be fixed, and we should regard it as a priority to do so. The problem is in triage right now, hardly even on anyone’s radar which is why I don’t bring in the topic of marriage. Marriage isn’t on the table yet for the many that just now struggle with basic relationships, so this is good place to start.
If you’d like to comment on this post, feel free to do so on Twitter. Follow me: @leestanNEreader